On the good side of things I no longer seem to be having troubles with insomnia at all. On the bad side, I am having a great deal of trouble staying awake. I suppose in the last while several pressures have been lifted from me, and perhaps that is why I am finding it easier to sleep. Only now I'm finding it too easy. Then I fall asleep at the wrong times, and must get up to do things like the dishes when I should be going to bed. It seems like my sleep schedule is getting irregular. Even now it feels like what I write hardly makes sense.
I saw a picture of Princess Diana on a tabloid cover just the other day, talking about a new cover-up concerning her death. It brought to mind a line from Elton John's Candle in the Wind, "Even when you died / oh the press still hounded you." I suppose it is ironic the sight brought to mind a line from the original lyrics. I always thought Elton John sold Norma Jean and Princess Diana short by not writing a new song anyway. At any rate, it is not just because this article was about Princess Diana that upset me. I am not one of the people who glorified her or her life. In the end, I am pretty certain she was only human and had her strengths and shortcomings like the rest of us. But what bothers me is the way these tabloids cannot let the dead rest in peace. It is awful enough the lies they print about people who yet live. At least they have the ability to defend themselves. Sometimes I wonder if we hold anything intrinsically sacred anymore.
I am obviously not any sort of Luddite, and I do not hate technology, but when a simple net search can turn up anything you want on rape pictures, snuff films, or gore of any sort, I wonder if there is such a thing as too much information. What does it say about us that these things exist? With easier access will they eventually seem bland? and if so what will people turn to then? I have never been comfortable with anything that restricts expression or speech in any form; even decency acts sometimes leave me nervous. Yet if we cannot draw a line for ourselves between what is appropriate and what is not, into what abyss shall we fall?
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