I do not understand why I am so upset. I knew the lyrics would affect her. I have a very good idea of where she is right now. I was there myself only slightly more than a year ago. A year... it has gone so fast. I can remember all of the mixed emotions so clearly. The utter frustration. The feeling that no one understood why I was still trying. And somewhere a knowledge that it had already ended, we just had not admitted it yet.
So I took Little Earthquakes with me. I played it and read select lyrics. And she cried. She averted her face for a time, until I finally asked if she was all right. I told myself she likely needed to cry, my actions were simply a catalyst. Yet even now, hours later, I am bothered by it.
Maybe I simply do not like to see her cry.
In the past at this point I would be saying I am falling in love. I would be looking at our common experiences, our likes and dislikes, and scoring up how great it could be. I will admit I have thought about what could be, but I am not going to start love proclamations. But I do consider her a friend. I think a good friend. The first friend I have made in some years. And that is something to be treasured.
And I never like to see my friends hurting.
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